Actually it's Saturday so they are all probably asleep and I should be safe. Unless this one was made on a Tuesday, in which case I'm in a very precarious position. Maybe if I adjust my chair. Okay that's better.
But that's not what I'm going to talk about today, I'm going to talk about something else. I'm going to write about writing, because that's what I'm doing. Also I'm supposed to become a meta-existentialistic Neurofrenologist, but I don't know if that actually means anything, so if you analyze it I'll put you in a mental institute. I'm surprised "existentialistic" didn't get a red-wavy line underneath it. I guess the computer doesn't want to play "the floor is lava" with it. I guess if that's what happens though then computers think spell checking yourself is how you save yourself from lava. Actually I wonder if that would work, spell checking everything you say when you're on top of lava. Maybe it would work for Chuck Norris, but probably not me.
But anyway, I was going to talk about writing. I don't have anything particular to say, so I'll just say a few things that are totally obvious but in a way in which you are completely enlightened as to a new state of existence that you can achieve if only you were to make patterned markings with a quill. Or pen. Whatever. Actually I think you're most likely to think I'm crazy, but I don't care. Most people think other people are crazy, so I guess if I make you think I'm crazy then I'm perfectly normal. So, if that's what I'm trying to so, "GHABBA GHAPPY-GOOGLYMOOGLY CANTOOGLEZORZ!!!!" Hooray for onomatopoeia.
But anyway, back to my meta-writing. So when you write, obviously you generally have a point. Like, "I'm writing this because my stupid teacher told me to," or maybe something more along the lines of "I love writing this! Actually I don't, I'm just trying an attitude transplant. What am I doing again?" or most common: "BLAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH." So as you can see, there are vast and amazingly complicated reasons to write. The reason for me, of course, is sex. Actually it hasn't come in the mail yet, but I remain hopeful, for I am an optimistic writer. Generally to get some, you have to write to the company, but I'm not doing that now, so I suppose that's not what my reason is any more. I guess my reasons fall under the most common "BLAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" category. Aren't you proud?
Another important thing to keep in mind with writing is that if you are using a toothbrush, things can get nasty quickly. I suggest using a public computer instead, because that way you don't pay anything, so your returns on your investment of walking someplace are nearly infinite. Except sometimes you miss stuff like free macaroni and cheese when you walk away. That happens sometimes, but it's a risk I'm willing to take. Like now, for instance, I'm missing some excellent strippers who, I've been recently texted, are very "hotttttttttt 'n seyxyyyyyyyy" according to my inebriated informant. But anyway, maybe they'll still be there when I get back, so if the rest of this is rushed to you, I'm sorry.
So now that you get the basics to writing, GO TRY IT OUT! Actually don't go try it out, I want to be able to dominate the market, so if you all just go write very very bad stuff, I'll be very grateful. Thanks!
